So i finally found a new pair of pants, after 4 years. 4 years. Four. Why so long? Well, all pants now come in “mid-rise” or “low rise” which have they charming effect of making my ass look like a box. Due to my natural flabbiness even mid rise pants either slide down to my crotch or, when belted, dig into my hips giving me the ultra sexy “muffin top.”

But that’s all over now~

What’s that Bryan? Yes! Love is the drug! And i’m high on these pants!

PS- i bought them at Kohl’s & they’re made by Gloria Vanderbilt. Gloria, i salute you for creating both fine jeans & a hot son.